Funny things you have seen/heard/taken part of in CF!

passing whole way back from IC, Altair and half of sirius with full cargo alien weaps and then going urgently on ... (while on TL leading to a planet) ... very fun part

Well, I'll post 10 that came in mind for now:

1. Every 5 minutes a Navy Capital Ships Fleet ramming their own home, Planet Manhattan.

2. CSF dumb NPCs flying through the planetary asteroids in X 3043. (I don't remember seeing the ASF ones doing that, except if attacked).

3. This:

Both killed by missiles is possible, both killed by gun at once is nearly impossible and funny

4. Gate jamming, like by 4 NPC trains blocking the gate. (had some image some time, but can't find it)
Note: This is not funny if you're trying to use that gate, but it is for the 3rd viewer.

5. NPC Armored transports with name: id=1r8wt34ucargo=12454346mount=1245634 (or other random parts of the NPC's code) (had images long time ago)
(It's known as a name bug, but fixed in Crossfire, it can be caused again by a corrupt install)

6. Running from the NPCs by getting into the minefield, next to the mines so you don't die. NPCs = R.I.P.
Note: Works when you are a starflier with no bribe coming from NY through Custodian, and some Outcasts come after you.

7. Nomads attacking the Dom'Kavash, their own creators.
Note: It was seen in the path to Sovetskaya, before 1.8 version, like in CF 1.7.

8. The chat between Juni and Trent at Earth's bar... very funny if you wait and understand the "secret meanings" ! <-- recommended to do.
"Trent! Don't touch!".

9. Player caught by a GR/SP with an illegal move (like suiciding outside Arena, several times), then saying about reporting the GR to OP for fining the player.

10. Trying to use the "Hit and Run" style against the Ion Cannon Defence Turrets in Omega 3 at the GMG Hypergate. You can actually survive them since they are slower than certain other gate defence guns, and it's fun ! Especially since there are people there, looking at you getting shot by the ion cannons and surviving (at least some seconds). Have the story ready in case somebody reports you of haxxing

Hmm,

11th. You hear "Trade Lane Disrupted" , you are kicked out of the tunnel and stare at the trade lane having the shield bar full (not disrupted) and no NPC arround O_O
Totally NOT funny in a race, but those who hear it in the race may fall off the chair.

at planet Blood in custodian helping another player transfer equip.

I have all his equip in my cargo bay

As I'm waiting for the other player to return

A pirate undocks from planet blood

I get fired at, I return fire - kill enemy.

He undocks.. Fires again I kill him again.
He undocks.. Fires again I kill him again.
He undocks.. Fires again I kill him again.

A shady smuggler who was on our KOS comes into the fight with his Battleship....
I avoid fire from both until I kill the BS, then kill the fighter...

Pirate undocks... I kill him
BS shows up.. avoid fire.... kill both again..

Pirate undocks.. I kill him..
BS shows up again... avoid fire... kill both once more!

(this went on until the BS went broke and was sent to planet Manhattan..)

Pirate begs for mercy and I escort him out...

Finish helping with transfer

Funny story indeed

In campaign, when playing mission "A New Worlds" Juni sometimes yells: "Dont leave me here alone, Trent!"

After leaving DK worlds in IC trough Phanchdar, i am followed by DK Mommaship and a pack of cruisers. All the way to the Gurm.

Sometimes cargo ship pilots commiting suicide near the planet. I wasnt guessed when I saw it near New Tokyo

Sunslayer Torpedo goes through Strike Carrier's hull.

Sometimes planets are going BATSH*T INSANE and begin to rotate with big speed.

Krelow-class heavy cruiser constantly gets different to nose when seen.

When I played mission 13, i saw Rheinland Military (with neutral) near Toledo and Liberty Navy inside Dyson Sphere (LOL)

(REDACTED): In mission New Worlds DK gunboats sometimes turn neutral, while Juni and Coalition guys still firing at them.

Many more to come.

And just something that looks like an easter egg.

Kiew-class carrier is seems to be a setback to the IRL "Kiew" helicarrier, which was built in USSR, but after USSR's crash it was given to Ukraine (that seems to be fair since town Kiew is a capital of Ukraine).

Spiky trolling noobs

Vishnu trolling everyone.

hey this is a not so funny but good one a battleship that gets a FREE paint job every time it undocks take a look

Bs in full paint work
and BS in silver

all that for 42mill and its a dreadnought better then paying 140 mill for the library one aye {note prices with out guns } still cheeper

Actually, this is more a joke, inspired by SP walktrough with cheats:

Trent's to-do list (Note: it is just a fanfiction, dont take it serious).

1)Upgrade my ship with Dom'Kavash tech.

2)Offer Juni my hand and heart. With bunch of severed Nomad tentacles instead of flowers. Wedding should be in Inner Core, right above the black hole.

3)Get a handheld DIAMONDBACK Coalition Gattling Dark Reign Ion Cannon.

4)Ride a Nomad fighter Nomad battleship Dom'Kavash Mothership Nomad Strike Carrier. If it will work, make a cruise, and invite Juni.

5)Outdrink ALL Coalitioners in Coalition HQ.

6)Survive the hangover caused by point 5.

7)Survive a hour of Dark Reign firing at me. Better, if it will happen on the eyes of Juni.

8.)Break off with Cardamine.
9)Make love with GC Coalition girl Outcast girl Female Dom'Kavash bloody DK Mothership.Seriously, if it is a "Mother ship", then it is a female?

10)Steal one of these Dark Reigns and strap to my ship. Blame Nomads, if somebody will ask.

11)Get a promotion and send Juni to a suicide mission, just like she made with me.

12)Save Juni from mission I sent her in point 11, like a knight in shining armor.

13)Deploy a safe passage from Sovetskaya to Leeds, to get their famous vodka in 24/7.

14)Get a Coalition buddy to drink with. Better, if it will be gal.

15)Get a nice sunburn in Utopia.

16)Reach Inner Core Warp Gates, and teach Dom'Razak, Dom'Setek and Dom'Nepesh a good manners. And get a buddy with Soulforge Train for loot carrying.

17)Free Savage from Dom'Nepesh and make up with them.

18.)Tell Coalition to colonize Canis Sector and watch them deploying Dark Reigns in Sorror.
19)Actually, tell them to deploy some Dark Reigns in IC systems abandoned by Dom'Kavash.

20)Install DIAMONDBACK Coalition Gattlings Dark Reign Ion Cannon on starflier, like a boss.

21)Recover Hispania.

Fill recovered Hispania with prisoner GC.

Become a pimp.

?????

PROFIT!

22)On 9 may arrive to Coalition HQ to watch a parade. I dont think they can forget glory of the past.

23)Record that parade on camera and upload it to SiriusTube.com. With Hell March as soundtrack.

24)When Nomads and aliens will be finished, tell Orillion to dont begin a war with Coalition again. I dont want to be a target for those gattlings.

25)Remember, how old I am, and how much time I spent within those Juni' suicidal missions.

26)Measure Juni's chest. Need to catch time when she wont be wearing her flak jacket.

27)Translate the slogan on all Badanovs' hull "Forward, to the west"? Not so peaceful...

28.)Throw the words "Jap" and "Narroweyed" out from lexicon. I dont want Juni to *BLAM!* me.
29)Do the same with words "commies" and "Redasses". Or at least dont tell these near Dark Reigns.

30)Do a drunken race in Dublin. Make sure there is no Coalitioners.

31)Do a battleship race. Invite DK Mothership and Nomad Strike Carrier.

32)Visit Ainu Depot. Make sure I wont run out of DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, TRENT!

33)Slap Juni out from this list.

34)Make Nomads see nightmares with me (And it seems to be not a accident that this point got a number "34")

35)After all of this, return DIFFICULTLY_SCALE back to 1.

OMG, 3 thankings. I hope somebody actually has gone roflmao afer reading this
EDIT: 5 thankings and reputation from a moderator. Trent's to-do list becoming a hit.

Well, yeah, even the ending was funny " Return DIFFICULTY_SCALE back to 1", as all that above was just on invincible mode

Otherwise, Trent just couldn't survive points 6, 7, 16 and of course 26

Just remembered few more, that weren't mentioned before.

13th: Try doing a "fast dock" with a planet (Like Pl Crossfire), and for bad timing, you make a "forced land" on the planet, by crashing on to it.

14th: Try doing a "fast dock" with a planet, you press F3 at the right moment but due to server lag, but in the next instant you notice you are scattered arround the athmosphere (happened to me lol).

15th: Any of those 2 above, but while having some precious equipment on you or running from pierats/cops.

16th: Any of those 3 above when a GR sits on the Asteroid in front of Planet Crossfire. (aka suiciding outside Arena) *gulp*

17th: Try taking a shortcut in a race, instead of going arround the sun, going straight next to it and plan to use batts/botts... (every racer does that) then you notice that the Light Fighter wasn't such a good decision, not many enough bots/batts to survi~ KA-BOOM

18th: Killing players in a Starflier by smashing them with your BS (colliding). Especially if the Starflier TDM just ended, and you are in an Yggdrasil, better

19th: Going to Altair in a hurry as you need a new fighter, when you're about to dock with Sovetskaya you notice you forgot to bribe the Coalition.

20th: Going to Inner Core without paying a visit to Dervon, and actually survive... until Ryssk.

21st: As the rules say that self defence is always allowed, you kill some Nomads in Banysia so they stop CDing you. When you got the DK Device, you discover that DK don't like you anymore and that you are stuck there since the only gate out of that sector has 10k range death rays (not Ion Cannons, but even better and totally not avoidable).

22nd: The server crashes in a middle of an event, or in your trip arround Inner Core.

23rd: Buying both bribes at Rochester for not knowing which one is the one you need for the NPCs(some people do...).

24th: Using the Long version Intro, see how the Sol system explodes, then going online to visit Sol and see that the planets are fine.

25th: In the old Assault event, killing the whole opponent team with just the Miner ship.

26th: That somebody asks "Wanna go to IC ?" And you answer "The Inner Cloud, Inner Core system or the Inner Core sector ?

27th: That somebody asks "Wanna come with me to get some Ion guns ?" and you answer "Sure". After escorting him until Altair, you discover he meant the Level 6 "Ion Gun" weps, not the "Ion Cannon" gun you expected.

28th: Participating in the Nomad hunt /Ancient hunt event in a ship that has actual Nomad/Ancient guns mounted. It happened in the last Ancient hunt event

That's about it for now

Hmmm .... now my turn guys

1.) [GR]Michael kill me with collision nice kill m8

2.) nomads attack nomads in freeport 7

3:) i kill my self with CD

4:) i TAX ppl for 50.000 [ sometimes they dont pay it ]

5:) I'm stuck at the jumpgate and no one can help me because my location is very far from other ppl

6:) XENOS kill me [ xenos use starflier ship ]

7:) i explore inner core system when my reputation with domkavash is hostile

At point 7, good luck getting in Weth (since the 1rst point is in Multiplayer, the 7th too, so no God mode ).

Such trip is only possible with a Ragnarok, that also include a cloaking device. At least if you got good timing

29th: Going all arround Inner Core and Altair without bribing anything. ( I did )

8.) after i'mPVP with someone in ARENA and i lost missile , weapon ,cd ...... AND I NOT SUICIDE BUT I DOCK INTO THE PLANET 'what a shame'

ikr...