As for the girls, well... value yourself, everyone's different and eventually the right girl will show up if you're persistent and stop with the negative self-talk.
Again... The negative self-talk you see here is... it's less of a problem than it seems to be. For me, anyway. It's complicated, and I really should know better than air all of this in a public thread. In fact, I think I already said too much.
And TBAFH, I don't even feel like finding "the right girl" anymore.