There is no solution to that problem. We wont be able to bring democracy to that countries. Democracy is working in our/western cultures (more or less). In the same way it would not work for them to bring their way of living to ours. They are incompatible with each other. Toleration would be a key, accept others and let them live the way of living. The only exception then would be, that you only are allowed to do that if you dont harm others. (I let them live their way of life if they dont affect my life)
War or more weapons isnt an option too. It didnt solved anything yet, and it wont do in the in the near or far future. This is the same mistake that America has succumbed. People are not more safe if they have more weapons. No country is more secure if its people have more weapons. No society is assisted to maintain peace if rebels or government is supported with weapons. History proofed this more than one time. Unfortunate no one really learns from it. Gaining something by stealing it from others (especially with weapon power) is probably one of the many reasons why such crises exists. Although discussing problems and talk about hasnt been a solution too, this is the only way to try to solve it in peace. Making compromises and accept other ideas, tolerate them just could be a good start. But then a lot of people have to change themselves - and this very like could only solve mother nature.
Despite the fact that there are mainly young men among the refugees, you cannot simply tell them to move back and fight for their country. It makes sense, yes. But its not so easy. What about if all that young men dont want to fight and loose their lives. What about checking their claim for asylum, what about human rights? Do we have these International laws to forget them, just because it could make things easier for us? No. If we would do then this would make us less human. I find it good that we have these laws, now only more countries should accept it and support these laws. If there would be more supporters than the load to bear the crisis could be spread on more shoulders, which in the end could make it easier for all.
How do we get around the problem to find a suitable form of state where the countries in mid east could prosper and live peaceful with each other? For my understanding there was more order within these states if dictators lead those countries. I believe dictatorship is not a good state form, but there was more control in these countries than nowadays. Democracy failed and it wont work down there. We have to accept it.
Another already mentioned problem is again our way of living in the financial area - capitalism. The economy has to grow year by year, ones debts are another ones yields. Growing can only occur of debts raise too. We try to have a deal with those countries and in more and more cases we ruin their local economy. Example: It is wrong to sell them goods that they should be able to grow on their own. And it is wronger that we sell those goods much cheaper to them as it would costs if they produced it on their own. We destroy their countries with this carnivore capitalism. Helping is something different. What we do is to let our rewards grow while on the other side their wealth decreases. Economy is similar to finance sector. This has to stop and the current form of capitalism has to stop. I fear humanity doesn't develop any further if we just look how much profit we can gain. What has been developed lately that brought something good to a community without that someone got really rich from it? Does this has to happen - yes - with the current form of living. Why for example cant we just create medicine and heal the ones that require it - just without any costs or only less costs. Why it has to costs something? --> Somehow this is already the case with the debts of states. They raise and raise, year by year. OP mentioned already, its fictional money. And the federal reserves or central banks could just print money as it is required. This happens here in Europe and America and in many other countries. A lot of things that come together that could rake dissatisfaction among those who benefit from the system and on the other side the loosers - and obviously - that is very likely also a reason to escape from poor countries and immigrate to the more wealthy countries.
I have to agree with OP also with the social system - health care, It is working quite well here in Germany. It is not perfect and expensive, but a rich country should be able to afford these costs to take care of all of its civilization (and refugees too). I feel very comfortable that if i may loose my job or get very sick the system will take care of costs to a certain rate. The system somehow protects me and lets me feel save here. And in this case it allows that the poor people have the same security (to a certain level) and the strong and wealthy people also pay for the poor. But everyone benefits from it. Happily if you are more wealthy then one can even afford to be taken more care of in cases of accidents - may this be job or health (which is ok too). But the principal security of living is assured from the system. And I dont really want to miss it.
