Not feeling so good!

There are 40 replies in this Thread. The last Post () by /V\ichael.

  • *Get out of bed* *walk to the kitchen* *looks around*



    Wife: "Hi dear! oh, you don't look so good"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "I know"


    *Turns around and make his way to the living room* *sits in front of the TV and sees the news paper*


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "when did the paper came in?"


    Wife: "about 2 hours ago"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "I asked you to wake me up when it got here" *they never listen, why do I bother asking*


    *Opening the news paper* *turning the pages all the way to job employment, section 1.9* *Still nothing*


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *Not feeling so good*


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Dear, wake me up when you see something under 1.9" *going back to bed*

    Edited 2 times, last by Buddy ().

  • Wife: "Dear, wake up, you have a message"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "what the ..."


    Wife: "It is about section 1.9"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Really!, move aside woman!" *Jumps out of the bed and start running like a fool*


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *Arrived at the answering machine out of breath* *press the start button*


    Press 1 to listen to your messages! "be patient dude, if you want to play 1.9 in a nice way without any problems then wait..."


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *Dude!* "they can't even remember my name? as it been so long that they don't remember me?"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *wait!* "those guys have no hearts" *I don't feel so good* "I am going back to bed"

  • ROFL!

  • Wife: "Dear, wake up, you have 2 messages"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Bad news again I suppose" *makes is way to the answering machine*


    Press 1 to listen to your messages! "Man that is so funny! you just made my day" "ROFL!"


    Wife: " So dear, is it good news?"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *Well, it is coming from section 1.9*


    Wife: "and?"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Nothing about the job, they seem to think I am joking or funny" * I can only hope my ship will still be there"


    Wife: " At least someone care"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: " You are right woman, I feel better now. Make me lunch, I am ungry"


    Wife: "What! Do it yourself!"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *Why bother* "forget it, I am going back to bed"

  • Message from CF 1.9 section team:


    You've been searching for me, I was waiting for you.
    Now you have the requirements to deserve being contacted.
    I will be visiting you within 7 days at this hour with secret data and free info about the "CF 1.9" experiment. Make sure you will be at home and awake, with your PC ready, clean of porn and bluescreens.
    If you fail on this unique contact, you will fail in life causing your permanent death.


    Follow the red X butterfly.

    Chars: [CFPD]Michael~something (x25), [CFPD]~SQMS~{[(store)]} (x3), [CFPD]xfer, Event~Manager~Michael, StarfIier~EM~Michael, Event_Team_2, [GR]Michael[SP] and a blueprint of [CFPD]Sephirothis

  • *2:30 am*


    *Waking up to a noise* "Whaat iis thaat?"


    *Get up in a hurry, step on the cat that goes mad* *Cat grab the left leg ( Cat not declawed)* "Ooouucchh! heeeeeee! Maaaaaan that hurts" *finally unhook the cat*


    *Start making my way in the dark toward the living room* *Noise is close, start searching hit the table fall over the sofa and knock the head on the table where is the phone*


    Wife: "What the h... are you doing out there!"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Don't ask woman and go back to bed"


    Me, Unemployed freelancer: *Stupid answering machine beeping*


    *Wow, a message from 1.9* "Finally, thank god!"


    Press 1 to listen to your messages! *You've been searching for me, I was waiting for you. *Really!*


    *Now you have the requirements to deserve being contacted.* * I knew it*


    *I will be visiting you within 7 days at this hour with secret data and free info about the "CF 1.9" experiment. Make sure you will be at home and awake, with your PC ready, clean of porn and bluescreens.* "He will be coming here? With secret data"


    Wife: "Who are you talking too?"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Back to bed woman, I really don't have time."


    Me, unemployed freelancer: *What can it be! I have to take a shower, yea the porn as to be removed, good advise*


    *If you fail on this unique contact, you will fail in life causing your permanent death.* "Death? and I thought this was a game"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "I don't feel so good" *turn around to go back to bed* "Not the cat again! "Ooouucchh! heeeeeee! Maaaaaan that hurts"

    Edited once, last by Buddy ().

  • ROFL!!! It's one of the funniest, most original post I've seen in a forum in a looonnng time. Nice job Buddy. And I'm not your future employer, so don't bother.


    Cheers mate!


    PS: Do we all have to delete the porn stuff or just this dude cuz ahhh... you know....

  • *Gets up and makes his way to the living room*


    *Looks at the answering machine* *You have 2 new messages from Section 1.9*


    *Click on the Start button and listen to the messages* "PS: Do we all have to delete the porn stuff" "Just remove the porn."


    Wife: "Any news Dear?"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Things are starting to move, others have received the same message has I have"


    Wife: " What are they saying?"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Can't hear anything really" *Man! Lucky I got those messages before she did, someone hates me there*


    *Press 7 to erase all messages* *777777777777...*

  • *Opens the door of the bedroom, stick his head out and look at the calendar on the refrigerator "Oct/9" *


    *Shake his head, close the door and returns to bed*

  • *Toc Toc Toc*


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Someone is knocking"


    Wife: "Well, get up and answer it"


    *Makes my way to the door and open it* *A tall man with long white hair is standing at the door*


    Tall man: "This is what you were looking for I think" *He takes out an enveloppe from inside his coat and hand it to me*


    *On the enveloppe is writen "secret data and free info about the "CF 1.9" experiment"


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "You are the guy from "CF 1.9 section team" "You are one day earlier" *Lucky for me the porn as been removed*


    Me, unemployed freelancer: "Wow, this mean I am getting my ship back" "I have to say that you are a man of word"


    Tall man: "Get back to work then!"


    Me, employed freelancer: "Yes Sir! right away Sir!" "Wife, don't stay up for me tonight, I have to prep Thunderbird for her test flight"


    Wife: "Oh really! good, can you pick up some milk on your way back?"


    Me, employed freelancer: "Is she serious?" "Man, I feel good!"

  • Message from the CF 1.9 section team:


    I can notice with satisfaction that you surpassed both open and secret test.
    The first one of beind ready for the data receiving within 7 days, the second that you aren't one of those lazy bums who do it in the last day, at the last moment, which is why I even gave you an exact "hour" for my messenger's arrival.
    You were ready even 1 day and 1 hour before the time ended, 2nd test passed.


    Official statement:
    You are now one of the Crossfire space force recruits, prepare your own ship and train your skills by yourself to the max of your posibilities, the next test will arrive soon and won't be this easy, yet the rewards will worth them(yes there are more test after the next one).


    Encrypted Note(use your digital mouse to decrypt it--> ): Forget about your porn, soon you will have ladies from any planet on your tail, the downside is that you will have to hold yourself as you have a wife, and your reputation will go down before you arrive to be a "Hero".


    -Follow the Red X

    Chars: [CFPD]Michael~something (x25), [CFPD]~SQMS~{[(store)]} (x3), [CFPD]xfer, Event~Manager~Michael, StarfIier~EM~Michael, Event_Team_2, [GR]Michael[SP] and a blueprint of [CFPD]Sephirothis

  • *After working for hours, I finally got the primary engines working but I am having major issues with the main engine. It just wont start*


    Me, employed freelancer: *I can only hope they will understand at Section 1.9*


    Wife: "So, did you get the milk dear?"


    Me, employed freelancer: "I am working on it woman" *If we didn't live so far, I'd tell her to get it herself*


    *Returning to the main hangar*

  • Message from the CF 1.9 section team:


    We are considering the technical issues with your ship, but the tests will have the same difficulty level. Yet, they will be delayed as much as we consider it fair for the rest of the recruits.


    Good luck with it !

    Chars: [CFPD]Michael~something (x25), [CFPD]~SQMS~{[(store)]} (x3), [CFPD]xfer, Event~Manager~Michael, StarfIier~EM~Michael, Event_Team_2, [GR]Michael[SP] and a blueprint of [CFPD]Sephirothis

  • Log entry 1


    Found the problem that cause the main engine from starting. I replaced the computer that calculated the amount of H-fuel that was needed it to make it run. Ckecked all systems, weapons are online (guns and missiles), amunitions was brought in, scanners are working within parameters, shield battery and Nanobots are at max.


    Now, I have only 10000 liters of H-Fuel left in the tanks, some trading is required. We need credits and a lot.


    Me, employed freelancer: " Well Jo-Ann (wife), it is time for me to depart. I will see you in two weeks if everything goes to plan, take good care of yourself"


    Wife: "You be careful out there!"


    Me, employed freelancer: "You know me, I always do"


    *Gets inside the ship, wave to his wife and closed the door*


    *With a loud noise, the ship start moving up and soon disappear into the clouds*


    "Lets do this"

  • An interesting story.
    Me, employed police officer...thinking..."In my long career of police officer i've heard a lot of such stories, unfortunately many of these writers and poets have been drawn into the dark side.
    I do not know why, but it seems that these sweet stories are in some kind of correlation with dark side cookies, and merely a cover for various illegal acts, such as smuggling, theft, fraud, extortion ... I hope this is not the case here!


    We shall see..."

  • And in that way you are the first to mention and give attention to those dark side's cookies... ;)

    Chars: [CFPD]Michael~something (x25), [CFPD]~SQMS~{[(store)]} (x3), [CFPD]xfer, Event~Manager~Michael, StarfIier~EM~Michael, Event_Team_2, [GR]Michael[SP] and a blueprint of [CFPD]Sephirothis