21: Impulse engines stall when used in
reverse.
20: Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".
19: Shields fail to
work on alternate Fridays.
18: Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one
corner of warp coil now held up by phone book.
17: Computer fails to process any
instruction beginning with "w".
16: Booster cables become permanent fixtures in
transporter room.
15: Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image
from flickering.
14: Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through
squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.
13: Main sensor array unable to pick up anything
except CBS.
12: Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become
too steep for crew to climb.
11: Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more
than 2 people on board.
10: Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is
overcome by ten thousand care bears.
9: Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is
making Kraft macaroni and cheese.
8: Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light
beer.
7: Bug in main computer speech processor: computer voice will either stutter or
talk like Barbara Walters.
6: Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water
in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated orange juice.
5: Ship's dryer
indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will
only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed.
4:
Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please with sugar on it".
3: Riker unable to sleep for 2 weeks when holodeck computer crashes and loses access to
nude volleyball program.
2: Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready
room are exhausted and door must be replaced with bead curtains.
1: Saucer section
separates whenever ship makes left turn.
SWAT_OP-R8R
Portal-Administrator
