French Warfare

There are 28 replies in this Thread. The last Post () by supercars.

  • XL showed this to me so blame him ^^




    Q. How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French?
    A. I give up.


    Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
    A. Nobody knows. It's never been tried.


    Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
    A. The French Army.


    Q. Why was the Chunnel built under the English Channel?
    A. So the French government could to flee to London.


    Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?
    A: They have 5 gears...4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they're attacked from behind!


    Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
    A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.


    Q: Why do they have trees in Paris?
    A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun


    Q: Why is good to be French?
    A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.


    Q: What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?
    A: To say "I surrender" in German


    Q: Why was Jesus not born in France?
    A: Because they couldnt find three wise men or a virgin.


    Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
    A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.


    Q: Where are the brave French soldiers buried?
    A: There aren't any so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.

    signew.jpg


    cfmoddblogo.png5904.png5904.png
    http://www.moddb.com/scripts/topsite.php?ts=4766


    Only dead fish swim with the stream.
    Don't discuss with idiots. They only drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience there.


    This is ten percent luck,
    Twenty percent skill,
    Fifteen percent concentrated power of will,
    Five percent pleasure,
    Fifty percent pain,
    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

  • I'm sure somewhere out there Napolean is rolling in his grave. :P

    24/7 SWAT CF veteran from sometime before 1.6 up into 1.82. Lots of memories!
    Built 88 chars between DC, BD, UAC,
    STC, and freelancers. Ashes to ashes, alas? D:

  • [682] Kudos to XL! [prost] I'm sure there are those French Foreigh Legion veterans who would cringe, as well [7]

    My rig: i3-4130 Core Duo (3.4Ghz), Gigabit GA-B85-HD3 mobo, 8Gb PC1600ram, Samsung 2x 80Gb SATA RAID, Intel Integrated graphics, 3 optical drives, 23" Asus HD monitor + peripherals


    Character names: Centaurian_Alpha & CA derivatives
    Founder: Independent Operators' Consortium (established 2006)

  • somehow i think they are meant to be this way ^^


    but serously...
    i have nothing against french ppl... at least nothing effective

    signew.jpg


    cfmoddblogo.png5904.png5904.png
    http://www.moddb.com/scripts/topsite.php?ts=4766


    Only dead fish swim with the stream.
    Don't discuss with idiots. They only drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience there.


    This is ten percent luck,
    Twenty percent skill,
    Fifteen percent concentrated power of will,
    Five percent pleasure,
    Fifty percent pain,
    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

  • Lol funny one ! ;]


    Proud member of the Independent Operators' Consortium ever since day 1 in Crossfire. :herz:
    In-game characters: (IOC)Tyrael, (IOC)HimejiFortress


    “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” Sun Tzu

  • Quote

    Originally posted by SWAT_OP-R8R
    somehow i think they are meant to be this way ^^


    but serously...
    i have nothing against french ppl... at least nothing effective


    Me neither. Lol, they rescued my country in the Revolutionary War, sold us a huge chunk of North America, right now they seem to be very ahead in certain technologies, and I'm pretty sure nobody would invade them nowadays considering they have the world's 3rd largest military budget and and 4th largest nuclear arsenal. :P

    On the other hand... that's not as funny. :D

    24/7 SWAT CF veteran from sometime before 1.6 up into 1.82. Lots of memories!
    Built 88 chars between DC, BD, UAC,
    STC, and freelancers. Ashes to ashes, alas? D:

  • and 250.000 white flags ^^

    signew.jpg


    cfmoddblogo.png5904.png5904.png
    http://www.moddb.com/scripts/topsite.php?ts=4766


    Only dead fish swim with the stream.
    Don't discuss with idiots. They only drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience there.


    This is ten percent luck,
    Twenty percent skill,
    Fifteen percent concentrated power of will,
    Five percent pleasure,
    Fifty percent pain,
    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

  • lol ^^

    24/7 SWAT CF veteran from sometime before 1.6 up into 1.82. Lots of memories!
    Built 88 chars between DC, BD, UAC,
    STC, and freelancers. Ashes to ashes, alas? D:

  • Quote

    Originally posted by SWAT_OP-R8R
    Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?
    A: They have 5 gears...4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they're attacked from behind!


    this is my favorite :P

  • Quote

    Originally posted by Inferno


    this is my favorite :P


    Same to me m8 ! :D


    Proud member of the Independent Operators' Consortium ever since day 1 in Crossfire. :herz:
    In-game characters: (IOC)Tyrael, (IOC)HimejiFortress


    “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” Sun Tzu

  • ya, I'm passed it along a few times and so far I'm yet to find someone who didn't laugh :D

    24/7 SWAT CF veteran from sometime before 1.6 up into 1.82. Lots of memories!
    Built 88 chars between DC, BD, UAC,
    STC, and freelancers. Ashes to ashes, alas? D:

  • no french around here to raise their voices?^^

    General - DC commanding staff member & DC Truchsess
    DC Website: http://www.swat-portal.com/php…hp?page=Board&boardID=413


    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
    (" )_(" ) signature to help him gain world domination.

    --
    Karl Marx: To do is to be!
    Lenin: To be is to do!
    Freddie Mercury: Doo be doo be doo!
    --
    RPG: Es gibt keinen Alkohol in Mittelerde! -> Mist!
    --
    I heard that's me having a beer (^^):
    ..... O
    LI² \ ' /
    ..... ^
    ..... / \

  • Bonjour, monsieurs ! :D :D :D


    Est-que vous avez problemes avec les francaises ? :D


    Proud member of the Independent Operators' Consortium ever since day 1 in Crossfire. :herz:
    In-game characters: (IOC)Tyrael, (IOC)HimejiFortress


    “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” Sun Tzu

  • Quote

    Originally posted by DC_Hägar
    no french around here to raise their voices?^^


    ... or white flags ^^

    signew.jpg


    cfmoddblogo.png5904.png5904.png
    http://www.moddb.com/scripts/topsite.php?ts=4766


    Only dead fish swim with the stream.
    Don't discuss with idiots. They only drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience there.


    This is ten percent luck,
    Twenty percent skill,
    Fifteen percent concentrated power of will,
    Five percent pleasure,
    Fifty percent pain,
    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

  • sorry
    its nothing personal... we make jokes about many countries


    i know for sure that british ppl also have a very large scale of jokes about germans
    better laught about them instead getting angry
    no1 gets hurt by a joke

    signew.jpg


    cfmoddblogo.png5904.png5904.png
    http://www.moddb.com/scripts/topsite.php?ts=4766


    Only dead fish swim with the stream.
    Don't discuss with idiots. They only drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience there.


    This is ten percent luck,
    Twenty percent skill,
    Fifteen percent concentrated power of will,
    Five percent pleasure,
    Fifty percent pain,
    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

  • Ya, nowhere near racist m8 - could be a little nationalist but that isn't the intent. If the jokes had been about Americans instead I would have smiled and laughed all the same. Does anyone have any more? :D

    24/7 SWAT CF veteran from sometime before 1.6 up into 1.82. Lots of memories!
    Built 88 chars between DC, BD, UAC,
    STC, and freelancers. Ashes to ashes, alas? D:

  • Plus, its mostly about the french army :) Dont worry :P


    PS : Dont joke with the Bulgarians, u will get ur ass kicked :P:)):D


    Proud member of the Independent Operators' Consortium ever since day 1 in Crossfire. :herz:
    In-game characters: (IOC)Tyrael, (IOC)HimejiFortress


    “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” Sun Tzu