Posts by Ancalagon

It's an old one, but still one of my favourites:

Customer: I have just brought a new computer and I can't get it too work.
Techie: OK sir, can you tell me if there is are any lights on on the computer or the monitor.
Customer: No there are not
Techie: Well could you press the button on the monitor at the bottom on the left, do you get a light?
Customer: I have pressed it and no light.
Techie: OK we need to check the plugs on the back of the monitor, are they all fully inserted.
Customer: Yes.
Techie: OK you are going to need to check where they plug in.
Customer: I can't do that, it is under my desk and to dark to see.
Techie: Do you have a lamp you could use.
Customer: That would be no help you see we are having a power cut.
Techie: Well what you need to do is put the computer back in its box and take it back to the shop and tell them that you have to return it.
Customer: And why shall I say I am returning it.
Techie: Tell them that you are to stupid to own a computer!

And a few more that have sprung to mind:

Customer: I am having problems getting my new printer to work.
Techie: What is happening?
Customer: When I try to use the printer the computer says "I cannot see that printer" even when I put the printer right in front of the monitor!

Customer: I am having problems installing your software.
Techie: What is the problem?
Customer: I started the installation and all was going well until it asked me to insert (floppy) disk #2. So I did that and then it stopped
Techie: OK, try removing and reinserting disk #2.
Customer: It won't come out.
Techie: You need to press the button on the front of the disk drive.
Customer: That's not helping. I can't say I am surprise the amount of force I needed to get it in.
Techie: What do you mean?
Customer: Well with the first disk in there, it was extremely tight trying to fit the second disk in as well!

On-site Techie: I am sorry to say your data is corrupt. We are going to need to use your backup disks to restore the software. You do have backup disks?
Customer: Oh yes.
Customer then hands techie a ring folder with all the disks in. The disks have holes punched in them

On-site Techie: I am sorry to say the disk is corrupt. Do you have a copy of the disk.
Customer: Oh yes.
Customer then hands techie a piece of paper with a photocopy of the disks on.
Techie: I think I know how your disks became corrupted!

Customer: I won this Mac in a raffle and though I usually use PCs I thought I would try it. On looking at the spec I felt that it needed a new graphics card so I purchased and fitted one. Now my Mac does not work.
Techie: OK Sir, can you talk me through what you did?
Customer: Oh yes, well the case is not like my PC and I could not work out how to open it. So I got a hacksaw and cut the back of the case off...
Techie hangs up phone.

Kyuss - Thong Song

It's not just you. OP did warn us that 70 Gb of data had to be up loaded to server and to expect some disruption to normal service.

I like your avatar, especially with the skull.

Signature is amusing and informative, what more could you ask for?

9/10 - Good effort

Sorry could not be more help.

Hope you get it sorted soon and join us.

Have you tried turning it off and back on again (only joking).

Problems I have had include: not having uninstalled Mod Manager (cause it does not show up in the add/remove programs listing, at least for me) & not having deleted the freelancer files from My Documents/My Games.

Sorry if those are things you have tried but though best to check.

Good luck to the new Clan and all its members

Ok, it looks like a lot of the stuff have been covered. I am willing to assist with anything I can do.

Quest is one thing I could help on though a couple of people seem to be working on this. Should they need any help, then get in touch.

I do have a mate who was in the games industry doing graphics. He is currently out of the industry but looking to get back. He might be willing to do some work (to have something recent to go on his CV). So if there is any graphical work that needs doing, give me the info and I will see if I can get him to help.

Nobody seems to be looking to get the ASF vs. CSF action going and I think that I could help with this. So I offer to do that.

OP- I will be in touch shortly to get your guidance as too how you want me to do this.

Anyone needing help or wanting to get in touch about the ASF/CSF, please do so, details below.

email: Ancalagon@allinltd.co.uk
MSN: Carcharoth@hotmail.co.uk

Nope, have been pillion on a bike at about 160 mph or so I was told, I was a bit busy holding on to look for myself. I not going to incriminate myself by saying how fast I have been while in control.

Have u....shaved someone while they were asleep?

Quote

Originally posted by magnet
i think there were 111 (112 if THAT system [u know what I mean] counts)systems in CF

And if I don't know what you mean?

I was just wondering how far through CF I had got. Currently I have found 84 systems (+8 clan systems I have not entered), 205 stations and 139 jump holes.

How many are there or have you found?

I'm not sure, I can't remember!!

Have you ever blown anything up?

I feel there is something wrong here, we want the cheats to leave and not the proper players.

It was mentioned that the only way for cheating to be proved is by scanning a players PC, are the powers that be able to do this?

Obviously the players would need to agree to this but why don't they. It may be a bit like having to prove yourself not guilty but for the good of the server why not do it.

It may all be sorted out in CF 1.8 but this will only be for a while until the cheats find another way to cheat. So lets find them now and get then banned. Solve the problem long term.

No but I did properly love my motorbike until she left me. Unfortunately she left me when we were doing about 70 mph and turned herself into a pile of scrap metal.

Have you ever hallucinated? (proper hallucinations none of this wobbly walls or vivid colours rubbish)

Hi Buffy,

I have been on the server for under a month, so am pretty new too. The CF universe is all very friendly and I am sure that you will have no problem finding people to help you. Just chat with them and things will happen, or at least this is what I have found.

A couple of bits of advice from my what I found starting up.

Firstly, check out the clans and their systems, it is quite easy to wonder into clan systems without realising it and you don't want to start by bring down the wrath of a clan on you.

Secondly, what I did to get started was explore the vanilla systems. Life is not too hard in them and you will make some money, upgrade your ship and start to fill out your map. Check out the news in the bar for leads as too what is going on and check the equipment dealers for any tasty bits of kit.

The best way I found to make money early on is selling escape pods at prison, so try and find where the prisons are.

Hope you enjoy yourself and see you in space

I am relatively new here so I am not 100% sure of the dynamic of the game (still being in the exploration stage and not having got into the the rp side) but a couple of ideas.

Would it be possible for clan bases or systems to have a requirement of resources to keep them running? You need to bring in food to keep the population fed, hyperspace fuel to keep he ships fed and materials for manufacture. This would mean that clans would have supply runs to do or pay traders to keep them supplied. Enemies could set up embargoes and so on.

Someone earlier suggested destroyable jump holes. If these were possible then you could have a resource rich system with destroyable jump holes to each clan system. Once in a while all the JH come on line and it is for the clans to try and destroy all the other JH and protect theirs to gain sole access to the system (until they are all activated again). It could also lead to raids on the clans home system to destroy the other end of the JH.

Hi there,

I have recently started the crossfire mod and am enjoying it but have a couple of questions that I would like some info on.

When I destroy an enemy ship I find that it can cause me a reasonable amount of shield damage. and I can not figure out why. It does not seem to be distance related as I can be close to ships that blow up and take no damage. So what's going on?

I have found a jump hole (Hambug to Frankfurt) that I cannot use (access denied). This is no great problem just curious as to why.

I am still flying round the standard FL systems doing the reasonably safe exploring but as I found the jump gate too Custodian I thought I would take a look. On returning I got a message telling me I was not allowed to go there without an invite from someone (BL?). I did read the rules and was not warned about doing this. So are there anyother places I am not allowed? Is there a list anywhere or some rules that I have missed reading? I understand that there are clan systems but I just thought you got a hostile welcome if you where not wanted not that you had to avoid these places.

Thanks for any help and see you in space

Ancalagon