Of course that everyone knows Chuck Norris, but i understand that some of you don't know Mr. T. Well.... Mr.T pities you!
Ok, now with the realistic facts about Mr. T!
*When Mr. T goes to the mall to buy more mesh shirts and fingerless gloves, he merely stands at the entrance sending out his pity... the clothes come to him after they've paid for themselves.
*The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are not War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. They are actually Mr. T, Mr. T, Mr. T, and Laurence Tureaud.
*Mr. T's GMC van does not travel on solid surfaces, but instead mathematical planes. In other words, it can go wherever the hell Mr. T wants.
*Staring at Mr. T's chains causes spontaneous combustion.
*Atlantis did not sink. Mr. T just pitied it.
*Mr. T gave up running for Pope when he found out he wouldn't get to throw any "heathen suckas".
*Mr. T did not play the part of Clubber Lang in Rocky III. Instead, the part was played by a look-a-like. The fool was later pitied to death by Mr. T for tricking others into thinking Mr. T can lose.
*If you ever see Mr. T walking down the street with no gold chains around his neck, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
*Blade Trinity is based off of the time that Mr. T teamed up with Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris to go on their annual vampire hunt.....
*There is no national debt. This is strictly the money the government pays to Mr. T and Chuck Norris for protection, and also so they will not roundhouse and frohawk everyone in Washington for their political "Jibba Jabba."
*When Mr. T returns his videos to Blockbuster, he never has to rewind. He loves to stop movies right at the end, to ruin it for some fool
*Mr. T has such massive genitalia that in order to become fully erect he needs to drink 4 quarts of blood before sex.
*When asked which species of primate he would like to see eradicated, MR. T answered, "Spider Monkey. I hate those four fingered fools."
When asked what his second choice would be, he replied, "Spider Monkey. Because they like to throw poop too."
*Mr. T could have taken on all of the Smith agents in the Matrix by slowly folding his arms together and nodding his head, in so doing he would have gotten right to the Creator of the Matrix and pittied him!
*Mr. T once got a parking ticket, so he traveled back in time to 1776 and forced a new Amendment to the Constitution that read: Mr. T is above the law and exempt from all this jibba jabba. Came back to the future and made the Judge eat it
*Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be pitied by Mr. T, than you are to have feet.
*Complaining of back pain, Atlas once asked Mr. T to hold up the world for him. Mr. T agreed, on the condition that in exchange Atlas would wear Mr. T's golden necklaces. After five minutes of excruciating pain, Atlas asked for the world back.
*The sweat from Mr. T's brow can melt reinforced concrete
*If Mr. T is behind you, you're dead. If Mr. T is in front of you, you're dead. If Mr. T is on top of you, you're anus should be pitied.
*Don't be a foo, stay in school. Or Mr. T will pity you so hard your brains will leak out your ears.
*Mr. T can throw anything further than anyone. The only reason he doesn't win every Olympic throwing event going is because the pitiful gold medals are not man enough for his collection.
*Mr. T once pitied a man so hard that his soul ate itself and he shrivelled into a little ball of human effluence.
*Mr. T does not have a mohawk hairdo. Mohawk Indians have a Mr. T hairdo.
*On June 3rd, 1987, Mr. T gave a live performance of the Aaron Neville song "Everybody Plays the Fool". There were no survivors. The only existing recording is kept in a secret underground military facility in New Mexico manned entirely by deaf people. It will be used as a last resort in the event of World War III.
*A sample of Mr. T's blood was sold for £13,000,000 on auction. While in the buyers mansion, it caused chaos and destruction as it began to pity its surroundings.
*A very smart man in a bar once convinced Mr. T that he was not a fool. Mr. T responded by punching him in the face, because he no longer had pity for the man. Mr. T realized that this exchange did in fact make the man a fool, and as such he should be pitied. The irony was so rich that Mr. T let out a happy fart.
*During WWII, a nazi shot at Mr. T with a bazooka. He caught the rocket in his mouth, began to chew it, and then blew a huge bubble that eventually popped all over his face. He then started a bubblegum company called "Bazooka T", but his idea was stolen by some guy named Joe.
*When Mr. T, Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris all get together in the same room, the number of daily global deaths decreases by 99.3%
*Mr. T. once got in a fight with the earth. The result was...the creation of the Moon.
*During a warm November day, Chuck Norris challenged Mr. T to an eating contest. Chuck did well by eating ten 30oz steaks, but Mr. T won by eating a Ford Taurus.
*Mr. T once shot himself in the head claiming; "what doesn`t kill you, only makes you stronger!"
*Mr. T discovered America. He called the natives Indians not because he thought he was in India, but because he thought it was funny.
Which it was.
*Arnold Schwarzenegger is not Austrian, he talks the way he does because of a run in with Mr. T in grade school. Now, I wasn't there but word is Mr T. pitied the fact that Arnold's last name was so long, even as a child Mr. T's pity had mystical powers.
*Mr. T is Godzilla. You are Japan.
*Mr. T was going to write his life story. He did not need to. It wrote itself out of pure terror.
*There's no "I" in Mr. T
*Mr. T does not click start>shutdown to turn off his computer, no, he simply stares at the freakin' monitor till the whole gotdamn room explodes.
*Mr. T once took a crap at a party in New York City. Afraid of being killed if you flushed it, people left it alone. The poop sat in that toilet for nine months. That is how Puff Daddy was born.
*There is no I in team, but there is a T in team...this is not a coincidence.
*Mr. T has no name because he pitied the fool writing his birth certificate. It was never completed.
*Mr.T can jump a 12 story building in a single bound.One time he crushed a buick when landing, another time he landed on Hulk Hogan's shoulders and for the rest of the day they fought crime.
*Mr. T is the Lord of the Rings.
*Mr. T doesn't check his email. He pities it.
*Mr. T carries a postage stamp in his wallet at all times. Written on the back is a list of fools he doesn't pity.
*Mr. T does not buy gold, it grows from his neck.
*Mr. T and Chuck Norris once engaged in an arm wrestle. The result was Hiroshima. Oppenheimer, a failing chemist, took credit for creating the A-Bomb in an attempt to get women to like him.
And now, the last one for today:
*Mr. T recently opened a Psychic hotline, one in which he takes every call. No matter the question he is asked, he gives only one response: "My prediction? Pain." He then goes out and personally pummels each caller witin an inch of their life, because Mr. T can never be wrong.
c'mon boss, we need more, maybe a trip to that lap dancing place on 
