What puts you over the top?

Ok, this could have easily gone in one of the jokes-thread, but i think it's so good it merits its own thread:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

And look how far ass-kissing will take you!!!!:

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Quote

Originally posted by Myric
P-I-V-A-T-E-E-R-I-N-G= 16+9+22+1+20+5+5+18+9+14+7= 126%

Quite impressive!
However P-R-I-V-A-T-E-E-R-I-N-G (16+20+9+22+1+20+5+5+18+9+14+7) gets you to 146%.

Just imagine how far you get when you build a Privateering Consortium

Yes, but
K-I-L-L-I-N-G E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E
11+9+12+12+9+14+7+5+22+5+20+25+15+14+5= 185%.

Success is measured by the amount of bodies hidden under your couch.