support hotline^^

DC_Hägar · Mar 6th 2008

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt- Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash, it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "OK! Click on the Menu Bar Item File, then New Game."
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

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Customer: "I am using one of your programs to backup my system files. But I wanted to backup all my programs. Can you tell me how to backup the Internet to my diskette?"
Tech Support: "Do you have the latest version of the Internet installed?"
Customer: "How can I tell?"

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write click on my desktop, so I wrote click on my desk."

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Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

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Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'Start' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow ! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed A:\SETUP."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says PC manufacturer Restore and Recovery disk."
Tech Support: "OK, take that one out and insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Take out the disk that is in the drive and insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "I can't, I do not have one"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No . . . ."

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Customer: "Uhh...I need help starting up my new PC."
Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"
Customer: "I can't open the box."
Tech Support: "The computer case?"
Customer: "No the box that it came in."
Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there."
Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks..."

magnet · Mar 6th 2008

ok didn't quite get the first one but the rest -
ROFLMAOLOLZZZ

**SWAT_OP-R8R** · Mar 6th 2008

rofl

(IOC)Tyrael · Mar 6th 2008

LOL !!! nice Haegar

Ancalagon · Mar 6th 2008

It's an old one, but still one of my favourites:

Customer: I have just brought a new computer and I can't get it too work.
Techie: OK sir, can you tell me if there is are any lights on on the computer or the monitor.
Customer: No there are not
Techie: Well could you press the button on the monitor at the bottom on the left, do you get a light?
Customer: I have pressed it and no light.
Techie: OK we need to check the plugs on the back of the monitor, are they all fully inserted.
Customer: Yes.
Techie: OK you are going to need to check where they plug in.
Customer: I can't do that, it is under my desk and to dark to see.
Techie: Do you have a lamp you could use.
Customer: That would be no help you see we are having a power cut.
Techie: Well what you need to do is put the computer back in its box and take it back to the shop and tell them that you have to return it.
Customer: And why shall I say I am returning it.
Techie: Tell them that you are to stupid to own a computer!

And a few more that have sprung to mind:

Customer: I am having problems getting my new printer to work.
Techie: What is happening?
Customer: When I try to use the printer the computer says "I cannot see that printer" even when I put the printer right in front of the monitor!

Customer: I am having problems installing your software.
Techie: What is the problem?
Customer: I started the installation and all was going well until it asked me to insert (floppy) disk #2. So I did that and then it stopped
Techie: OK, try removing and reinserting disk #2.
Customer: It won't come out.
Techie: You need to press the button on the front of the disk drive.
Customer: That's not helping. I can't say I am surprise the amount of force I needed to get it in.
Techie: What do you mean?
Customer: Well with the first disk in there, it was extremely tight trying to fit the second disk in as well!

On-site Techie: I am sorry to say your data is corrupt. We are going to need to use your backup disks to restore the software. You do have backup disks?
Customer: Oh yes.
Customer then hands techie a ring folder with all the disks in. The disks have holes punched in them

On-site Techie: I am sorry to say the disk is corrupt. Do you have a copy of the disk.
Customer: Oh yes.
Customer then hands techie a piece of paper with a photocopy of the disks on.
Techie: I think I know how your disks became corrupted!

Customer: I won this Mac in a raffle and though I usually use PCs I thought I would try it. On looking at the spec I felt that it needed a new graphics card so I purchased and fitted one. Now my Mac does not work.
Techie: OK Sir, can you talk me through what you did?
Customer: Oh yes, well the case is not like my PC and I could not work out how to open it. So I got a hacksaw and cut the back of the case off...
Techie hangs up phone.

DC_Hägar · Mar 6th 2008

rofl

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