redneck
Posts by daDraga
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Why Men Are Like Computers
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matterWhat Men Mean (Little guide for Lady freelancers)
Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass
I'm a Romantic = I'm poor
I need you" = My hand is tired
I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised
I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation
You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected meIreally want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it
It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head
She's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue
I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me
I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good
Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small
I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you
Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later
How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now
I have something to tell you = Get tested
I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again
I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk
I think we should just be friends = You're ugly
I've learned a lot from you = Next -
Hollywood
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Flying Blonde
The plane is on its way to Houston , when a blonde in economy class gets up
and moves to the first class section and sits down.
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She
then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will
have to sit back in her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston , and
I'm staying right here."
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the
co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class who belongs in
economy and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she
only paid for economy, she will have to leave and return to her seat.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston , and
I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police
waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.
The pilot says, "You say she's a blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."
He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm
sorry." And she gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to
make her move without any fuss.
He replies, "I told her, `First class isn't going to Houston .'"
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Argh,wifes
Whuut!!
Lol,we are not alone!!
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Guns N' and roses-Sweet child o' mine [7]
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Quote
Originally posted by Spiky-
I generally don't listen to my teachers, parents sometimesBesides ive had that experience quite often
Yupp,the man is the head of the family in my country,and women is the neck;( !!And one more sad and eternal truth !! -
Quote
Originally posted by lucy in the sky
arrrgghh, poor kittenLol,my wife is agreed with ya,and she tells me something else too.So,drop the idea,it was bad one.
Here is ur little kitten,he dont like also that way of bathing,actually he don,t like any way of bathing obviously.
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Luciano
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How To Bathe A Cat
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any vulnerable surface they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
JOB DONE!
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Friday 13
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noise
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Omg,so much terrorist on one place,even kids to?( .
Anyway,the world famous and NO1 terrorist.
His days will be soon ended!
[MARK=orangered]The final solution by BIG BROTHER!! [/MARK] -
Um,forget that m8 please,that was joke,not good one. [72] I,m just analyze to much,that is my professional deformation.
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Actually it is 2 possibilities more,but since i,m newbie around i think its smarter too shut myself up.:D
Only this, God/firewater,lol maybe the true is in there.
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A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience.
When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have intercourse with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house."
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Well,please enlight me,that guy who acting in ur name,can he do that alone?I mean even player experienced in this mod need time too get enough cash,setup ship for PVP and trouble making.And how he knows that u don,t come to play in that time when he making monkey business(maybe is he some of ur friend in prank mode) . Someone must to help him in that for sure with cash and weps to make quick char,(except if he knows that u are in school)but someone must to notice that also.I was in clan which role play was starting war between clans,even with fake chars but i can tell u that was hard missions and expensive also for ur employer.For example i make char(but with restart,my clan m8 give me money) and i starting my naughty mission,when i meet the owner of char with totally different name.He come online with char and in time which was unusable,or we dont know anything about that character.Blow.Anyway,that kind of action,s need quick movings.
Sry for my English,Babel fish is guilty for that.
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Nice videos m8.
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Dear Mom & Dad
Way to guilt your parents into not searching though your stuff
Adobe Wan Kenobi
This is so obviously photo shopped!!
Tie Staple
Winner of best use of a staple gun 2008