Posts by SWAT_OP-R8R

  • Painkiller Leak Just a Demo

    ur right nitro (i start to like you ^-^)


    bhaal... there are 2 kind of people... those guys who need hightech-weapons and those guys who take a knife and kill 100 ppl without a problem


    so IF you need a 2nd firemode...ok
    but i will do it with just 1... and there u can see who has real skill


    ohh and like nitro said... Q3 is for ppl that like it fast and with much more action [50]



    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Adminitrator

  • New Jokes

    WHAT PORNOS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE...


    1. Women wear high heels to bed.
    2. Men are never impotent.
    3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
    8. Women always orgasm when men do.
    9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
    10. All women are noisy fucks.
    11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    12. Those tits are real.
    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
    14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
    15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
    16. Double penetration makes women smile.
    17. Asian men don't exist.
    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
    19. There's a plot.
    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
    21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
    22. Men always pull out.
    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
    24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
    25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
    26. Assholes are clean.
    27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
    29. Men don't have to beg.
    30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.




    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator

  • New Jokes

    One day a son asked his father what was the difference between "theory" and reality". His father thought and then said "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with the next door neighbor for a half million dollars".


    The son went to his mother and asked her. She thought about it a minute and then said, "Yes, yes I would". The son returned to his father and told him her reply.


    The father then told the son to go ask his sister if she would sleep with the next door neighbor's son for a half million dollars . The son went to his sister and asked her. She thought about it for a minute and then replied "Yes, yes I would". The son returned to his father and told him his sister also said she would.


    The father said "Well son, there you have it. In theory, we're living with a million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of whores". :D




    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator

  • New Jokes

    An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold,blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did,and her hands warmed up.


    The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend, and he said, My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."


    The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter.
    He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up.


    The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."


    The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother,
    "Have you ever heard of a penis ?? The slightly concerned mother says,
    "Sure, why do you ask?" The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they defrost!"





    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator

  • Chevy Nova

    i had a little talk with Arvedui a few mins ago


    Quote

    BG_Arvedui_BC: you know this car... the pajero?
    BG_OP-R8R_ED: yes
    BG_Arvedui_BC: in spain its named montero
    BG_Arvedui_BC: coz pajero means "masturbating man"
    BG_OP-R8R_ED: lol




    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator

  • Chevy Nova

    This is no joke so I wont post it there...


    Chevrolet had the problem to sell the Chevy Nova in spain... so they tried to find out why. The reason for it was a translation-problem.


    no va = it does not go/it does not work


    so this means: Chevy - doesnt work ^-^


    (you can ask Arvedui he is from spain if i remember right)




    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator

  • New Jokes

    Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck." It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many Grammatical categories. ~ It can be used as a verb both transitive (Jim fucked Lauren) and intransitive (Lauren was Fucked by Jim). It can be an action verb (Jim really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Lauren really doesn't give a fuck), and adverb (Lauren is fucking interested in Jim), or as a noun (Lauren is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Lauren). It can even be used as a conjunction (Lauren is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see there are very words with the overall versitility of the word fuck. Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:
    1. Greetings........."How the fuck are ya?"
    2. Fraud..............."I got fucked by the car dealer."
    3. Resignation......."Oh, fuck it!"
    4. Trouble............."I guess I'm fucked now."
    5. Agression........."FUCK YOU!"
    6. Disgust................"Fuck me."
    7. Confusion............." What the fuck....?"
    8. Displeasure............"Fucking shit man..."
    9. Lost........................"where the fuck are we?"
    10.Disbelief.............."UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!"
    11.Retaliation............."Up your fucking ass!"
    12.Apathy................."Who really gives a fuck?"
    13.Suspicion............."Who the fuck are you?"
    14.Directions.............."Fuck off."
    15. Pleasure................ "She was the greatest fuck ever!"
    ~It can be maternal........"MOTHERFUCKER!!"
    ~It can be used to tell time......." It's four fucking twenty!"
    ~It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's a fucking asshole."


    Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:
    "What the fuck was that?" ~Mayor of Hiroshema~
    "Thats not a real fucking gun." ~John Lennon~
    "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" ~Captain of the Titanic~
    "Who the fuck is gonna find out?" ~Richard Nixon~
    "Heads are gonna fucking roll." ~Anne Boleyn~
    "Any fucking idiot could answer that." ~Albert Einstein~
    "It does so fucking look like her!" ~Picasso~
    "You want what on the fucking celiling?" ~Michaelangelo~
    "Fuck a duck." ~Walt Disney~
    "Houston we Have a big fucking problem." ~The crew of Apollo 13~

  • New Jokes

    A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn while the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.


    Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"


    "Reading my book," she replies.


    "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.


    "But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"


    "But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up."


    "If you do that I will charge you with rape," snaps the iretated woman.


    "I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff.


    "Yes, that's true ... but you have all the equipment ..."




    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator