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Quiz master to Non: "Who was the first man?"Non: "Oh, that's easy: ADAM!"Quiz master: "Who was made from Adam's rib?"Non: "Oh, that's easy: EVA!"Quiz master: "What did she say when she saw him?"Non: "Oh, that's a hard thing..."

[SIZE=3]Smart Duck[/SIZE] A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"Barman says: "No."Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No."Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No, we have no bread."Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"Duck says: "Got any nails?"Barman says: "No"Duck s…

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.... "Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!" She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!" Again, she pau…

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.The pr…

(Quote) Isn't that just a copy of that last joke in my post right above yours? ### One day, I looked up in the sky.A bird came by and shit into my eye.I didn't laugh. I didn't cry.I was just happy, that cows can't fly.

[SIZE=3]Annoy People at the computer lab[/SIZE] Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different monitor than the one it's set up with. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required…

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At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service." "It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word SERVICE: - Internal Revenue Service - Postal Service - Telephone Service - Civil Service - City and County Public Service - Customer Service - Service Stations Then I became confused about the word "service ." This is not what I thought "service" meant. So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them …

lol

just follow this link for a laugh: http://www.txc.net.au/~mapie/hell.htm

lol, i like that last part with the beer

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a game. The blonde, who's tired and just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, say…

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rofl

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What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night? "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"

[x] <-- nail here for new monitor

(Quote) lol - i hope u can afford a new monitor. the price is something between the seller and u^^