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A man walks into a bar acting really weird. He sits down and the man next to him asks, "What's wrong buddy?"The man replied, "I've been blowing chunks all night!"The man next to him replies, "Well that's not that bad, you just had too much to drink." The man then said, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. …

There are two pieces of tarmac sitting by the side of the bar, and they are having a drinking contest, to see which one is the hardest. After 12 shots of vodka, both pieces of tarmac are still unfazed, when suddenly the door opens and a red piece of tarmac walks in. Upon which seeing the red piece of tarmac, one piece of tarmac runs straight for the bathroom. An hour later, he ventures out and discovers that the red piece of tarmac has left. Upon seeing the other piece of tarmac, he is asked why…

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