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rofl

you talking about me again?

rofl

I.... just... can imagine how that has beenyou said she was jumping?.........nvm... i just tried to catch the picture

ROFL

ROFL

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WIT…

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

thats something only mathematicians understand

A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.