Posts by daDraga

  • short movie

    Menthos


    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uc1iEFkahEA&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uc1iEFkahEA&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>


    Marshmallow eating contest!!


    [flash=425,344,transparent]http://www.youtube.com/v/fpg3xM-niVw&hl=en[/flash]

  • Funny joke

    The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.


    After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don't do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.


    After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a lawyer and I'm just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

  • Funny joke

    Satan Vs God


    An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you`re an engineer -- you`re in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they`ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, "So how`s it going down there in hell?"


    Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We`ve got air conditioning, flushing toilets and working escalators, and there`s no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What You`ve got an engineer? That`s a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I`m keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I`ll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?" [3]

  • Funny joke

    The Ideal Man



    A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this:


    RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS:


    1) WON'T BEAT ME UP
    2) WON'T RUN AWAY
    3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED


    For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail: none seemed to match her qualifications.


    Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the welcome mat.


    Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?"


    "Hi," he said, " your search is over, for I'm the man of your dreams. I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away."


    "Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that you're so great in bed?"


    To which he replied,..... "Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I? [6]

  • Known site bugs

    I get this error message when i try to hang my self in Lucy in the sky game(Hangman),and when i want to edit my profile.


    Quote

    Database error in WoltLab Burning Board: Invalid SQL: UPDATE bb1_user_table SET username='da\'Draga', exname='da'Draga', userid='6081'

  • Funny joke

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married
    for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
    habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.


    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her
    eyes water and make her gasp for air.


    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them
    off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
    it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;
    she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.


    The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
    Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
    dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the
    bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard,
    liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.


    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was
    sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
    pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied
    the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.


    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
    trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
    the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
    laughing, tears in her eyes!


    After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
    good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs
    in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.


    She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said,
    "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me
    and I didn't listen to you."


    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.


    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
    guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
    Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." :] :]

  • Funny joke

    Caring wife


    A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says,"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"