Posts by Parilabo

  • New Jokes

    Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong."Well," replies Paul. "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got very excited everytime I saw her?" "yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
    Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
    "That's great!" say Jeff. "When are you going out?"


    "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get stimulated again. So I got some duct tape and taped my privates to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff.


    "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
    "And what happened then?"


    (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face."

  • New Jokes

    An Australian ventriloquist visiting Wales, walks into a small village...


    Aussie: "G'day Mate! Nice dog, mind if I speak with him?"


    Farmer: "Don't be stupid, the dog doesn't talk"


    Aussie: "hello dog, how's it going mate?"


    Dog: "Doin' all right."


    The farmer is astonished.


    Aussie: "Is this guy your owner?"


    Dog: "Yep"


    Aussie: "How does he treat you?"


    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
    takes me to the lake once a week to play."


    The farmer is in utter disbelief.


    Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"


    Farmer: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I don't think."


    Aussie: "Hey horse, how's it going?"


    Horse: "Cool"


    Aussie: "Is this your owner?"


    Horse: "Yep"


    Aussie: "How does he treat you?"


    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me, brushes me down
    often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."


    The Farmer staggers back in amazement.


    Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"


    Farmer: "The sheep's a f***in' liar."