Posts by Parilabo

  • New Jokes

    A guy walks into a drug store in America and asks for a pack of condoms. 'That'll be $5 with the tax,' says the shopkeeper.
    'Tacks?' the guy exclaims, 'I thought you rolled them on!'




    Btw - N1 @6 :D

  • New Jokes

    A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."


    She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."


    "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."


    She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:


    #1, you have to be single and


    #2, you must be Catholic."


    The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single; and I'm Catholic too!"


    "OK" the Nun says. "Pull into the next alley."


    He does and the Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.


    But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.


    "My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"


    "Forgive me Sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."


    The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a costume party."

  • New Jokes

    A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington, DC, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual. He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the holdup?"


    The officer replied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Qa'ida, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends; the press called him on the lie about Iraq trying to buy uranium from Niger, and now Campbell Brown is threatening to sue him for a sexual innuendo he made at a recent press conference. So we're taking up a collection for him."


    The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"


    The officer replies, "About 14 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning.

  • New Jokes

    Two doctors in practice in a small country clinic had to quickly hire a new nurse. They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.
    "Why, we just hired her?"
    "Well, I think she is dyslexic and get thing backward. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 four hours, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him.
    I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours
    and she gave her twelve in one hour."
    The doctor have barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
    "To see Nurse Nancy, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"

  • New Jokes

    Once upon a time there lived a king.
    The king had a beautiful daughter,
    the princess. But there was a problem.
    Everything the princess touched would melt.
    No matter what;
    metal,
    wood,
    stone,
    anything she touched would melt.
    Because of this, men were afraid of her.
    Nobody would dare marry her.
    The king despaired.
    What could he do to help his daughter?
    He consulted his wizards and magicians.
    One wizard told the king,
    "If your daughter touches one thing
    that does not melt in her hands,
    she will be cured."


    The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.



    The next day,
    he held a competition.
    Any man that could bring his daughter an
    object that would not melt would marry her
    and inherit the king's wealth.
    Three young princes took up the challenge.
    The first prince brought a sword of the finest steel.



    But alas,
    once the princess touched it,
    it melted.
    The prince went away sadly.


    ..........................................
    The second prince brought diamonds.



    He thought diamonds are the hardest substance
    in the world and would not melt.
    But alas,
    once the princess touched them,
    they melted.
    He too was sent away disappointed.



    .........................................
    The third prince approached.
    He told the princess,
    "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what
    is in there."
    The princess did as she was told,
    though she turned red.



    She felt something hard.
    She held it in her hand.



    And it did not melt!!!
    The king was overjoyed.
    Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
    And the third prince married the princess
    and they both lived happily ever after.



    Question:
    What was in the prince's pants?



    (Scroll down for the answer)

























    M&M's of course.
    They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.


    What were you thinking you pervert?