Here goes...... 
A Freelancer, a Computer and Two
Horrible Mistakes:
Two centuries after the nomad war......
The Sirius Sector was
plunged into a corporate war between the corporations of the four houses. The Sirius
Militaries attempted to keep the coporations at bay, but were quickly overwhelmed by the
corporations' far superior technology. In this era, some few very fortunate pilots used IC
(intelligent chips) which not only helped control the more 'minor' systems of their ship
but also provided commentary and orders using sophisticated AI technology.
One day, a
Freelancer pilot was lucky enough to get a job from a corporation to test a new IC developed
by Ruby inc., codenamed 'Nikolayev'. The job would get him twenty million credits IF he
returned alive. He was making huge horrible mistake numero uno. Which was not contacting
Ruby inc. for further details. He equiped the chip onto his Anubis mk9, which had 90000
armor and was faster than an starflier and had 8 mini planet destroyer guns and 4 mini
planet destroyer turrets, all class 10 and could deliver 90000 damage to enemy's hull each.
Then he undocked from Ithaca Station and flew into the badlands.
His scanners
beeped. 2 rouges. In modfied Starfliers, which had 10 armor and were 10X slower than a
battleship and had 1 pretty flowery girly cannon, which did 0.00000000001 damage to ones
hull. The Freelancer blew one starflier into oblivion. He underestimated the other one,
thinking that it would be a spooty idiotic stupid and weak enemy that could only do 1 damage
to his hull in a minute. Actually, he was right. But correctly estimating him caused the
Freelancer to make huge horrible mistake numero dos. Which was sitting back and activating
Nikolayev's talk mode. His huge horrible mistake numero dos was actually very well
connected to his huge horrible mistake numero uno. If he had called Ruby Inc. for further
details, they would say "DONT TURN ON THE CHIPS TALK MODE!!!!!!" and he wouldnt make huge
mistake numero dos which would kill him. After he turned on talk mode, he was never seen
again.
A week later an ornery, wrinkly, weakling miner found his ships wreck. The
autorities scanned his black box. The IC's talk log was mostly gone, as if it hacked itself
and deleted most of the conversation and added the ironic background music.
T3h talk log
WARNING: CONTAINS
BAD WORDS
From the remaining log, it was visible from the size of empty bytes that
the Freelancer had been so offended by Nikolayev that he just sat there getting 1 damage
from the Rouge per minute for exactly 90000 minutes.
