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You can't make your "ping" or connection time static regardless of what you do. Unless you are connected directly to your destination , literally by 1 cable. You can set a range and hope for the best, but that's about it. Connection speeds vary by the type of "wire" and the number of hops. You can control the flow of outgoing data from your machine which helps with lag, but once the packets leave your house, you are no longer in control.

VPN tunnels need to be set on both ends, so the gateway would need to be opened for VPN and "standard" connections.

I am willing to bet your problems are related to your router or the NIC in your machine. What kind of NIC do you have? Have you added the CF server IP to the whitelist on your firewall and that of your router?