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What's the difference between light and hard? A man can sleep with a light on.

WARNING: This is pretty sick. It was pub quiz night, and one team found themselves a man short. They asked a man at the bar in overalls if he'd like to join them, and he accepted. He turned out to be very knowledgeable and pretty much won the quiz by himself. Afterwards, the others asked him; "What do you do for a living?" and he said; "I'm a plumber, but I used to be a Gynecologist." "Why would you give that up? It must pay better, and it must be less hours." "It was, but women would only come…

A woman decides to pay her husband a surprise visit at his office. When she opened the door to his office she saw him with his secretary sitting on his lap. Without missing a beat he said; "...and in conclusion, I cannot continue to run this office with only one chair."