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An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds. "No, not worth it!" "OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?" "No, not worth it!" "OK, 20?" "No, not worth it!" "How about 10?" "No, not worth it!" "Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?" "Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

loooool

What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to blow? -> MONEY --- A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano Player Wanted," so he goes in to apply. The bartender, who is desperate for a player, asks the man to play him something. The man sits down and plays some of the most beautiful music the bartender's ever heard. "That was amazing" exclaims the bartender. "What was that called?" "That was something I like to call 'A Weasel Ate My Genitals.'" "Oh. You know anything else…

A man is opening a restaurant and he asks one of his workers to come up with a name for it. The man tells Al, one of his workers, that he will name the restaurant after the first thing Al sees when he goes out the door. Al walks outside and the first thing he saw was a girl named Betty and he saw her legs. He told the man, and so the restaurant was named Betty's Legs. The man was so impressed that he said the next day Al could get a free drink. The next day Al comes a bit early and a policeman …

hehehe ---- An old man and women owned a farm. The old man died and the woman couldn't handle the farm by herself so she was going to hire someone to help her. The only job applicants were the town drunk and a new guy in town, who was gay. So she chose the gay guy; they worked together for a week or so and got the farm back together. The old woman was pleased with the work and worn out, so she decided to give herself and her hired hand the night off. Both went out to dinner, she with her friend…

not likely to happen a lot between a gay and a woman (or that gay is not gay) --- A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch. But I'm not pregnant, she says. Well, you're not out of the ditch yet, he says.

Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room. When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for, he answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you here for?" The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidentally bumped into the table and broke them all." The…

hehehe --- A man walks into a pub and sits down at a table. He notices a leper at the side of the bar. He orders a shot and then throws up. Next he orders a beer, drinks the beer and throws up. He does this for several more drinks when finally the leper comes over to his table and says, ''I'm sorry if my appearance is making you feel ill.'' The man replies, ''No, it's not you, it's the man sitting next to you dipping his chip in your neck.''

lol

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing."I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'""But why?" asks the man."I'm a divorce lawyer."

rofl ### A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defence: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistanc…

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, ''I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ''Good morning, madam. You don't know me but I've come to....'' ''Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,'' Mrs. Smith cut in. ''Really ?'' the photographer asked. ''Well, goo…

hehehe ### The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven. When they arrive at the gates, there's a mad rush of angels, saints, and other holy people on their way to greet them. When they arrive, they pick the lawyer up on their shoulders and carry him off cheering hysterically. The pope is deeply saddened. St. Peter sees this and goes over to him and says, "Don't feel bad. We get popes in here all the time, it's not every day we get a lawyer."

rofl ### Best excuses when caught sleeping in office: 10) ''They told me at the blood bank this might happen.'' 9) ''This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.'' ''Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!'' 7) ''I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.'' 6) ''I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.'' 5) ''I was doing a highly specific …

lol ### One night, as a couple lies down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?" ### Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks…

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City.It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt.A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt."No lassie" he replies, "everything is in fine working order."

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so p…

loool ### I had three girlfriends, but wasn't sure which one to marry. So I decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one went out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and comes back to my place and says, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." I was very touched and aroused, and we had lots of great sex. The second one went out and bought new golf cl…

''Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today!'' - ''Shut up and keep digging, boy.''

rofl ### When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After abou…