In cockpit with the OP-R8R (a true story)
yippieyeyhay
Chapter 1 - The Intruders
Our great hero, the OP-R8R, was on patrol in custodian when he noticed 2 intruders. Like every brave pilot he said to hisself "whoaha - intruders? that gotta be fun" So the OPI went straight to planet blood to protect his delicious whisky at all costs.
"Whisky you want? Stolen whisky leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to OP-R8R going maniac."
Arriving at Blood he spotted one of the intruders leaving the area so our great fighter decided to wait... "he will have to come back... it is the only way out of the system and the only way to get more whisky"
Waiting.... waiting.... more waiting... even more waiting
target departed from server
WHAT!?!?!??!!!!!! ARGHHH!!!!!!
ok calm down OP, calm down - there is still one intruder left
OP: "Forsaken leave the system... you have 2mins"
Forsaken: "No"
OP: "No?"
Forsaken "No"
OP: "What?!?!?!? This is BG territory you have no right to be here!!!!"
Forsaken: "Is this a serverrule?"
OP: "No"
Forsaken: "Can you ban me for breaking systemrules"
OP: "No - but i can make your life hell"
Forsaken: "The only way to get me outa here is to ban me"
OP: "If you say so"
5mins later our hero spotted this intruder but unfortunatly a 3rd intruder came into the system... This one was even worse... he was... he was... he was A SPAMMER called Master_X
this boy didnt stop writing for almost 20mins (even when our hero ignored him O_o)
but to come back to Mr. Forsaken...
OPI targeted him and opened fire... "whoopps what are this guns?"
"oh shockshit wrong char"
Our hero took his new shroud char with lvl5 shield and lvl8 guns ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***Bad Idea***
No need to say that our hero has about 1000 lives and respawned at Planet Blood again (those 1000 lives are because of all the whisky coz you know alcohol is used to conservate pilots)
Forsaken: "haha... looser" ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***Bad Idea***
OP: "O_o talking about yourself?... You lost your shield and big part of your hull... want to know something funny? I only had lvl5 shield and lvl8 guns"
Forsaken: "you can never get me outa here... even if you find me i can kill you anytime"
OP: "ok prove it"
Our hero activated a secret machine hidden inside the ASF HQ on Planet blood
*whooooshhhh*
Forsaken: "wtf where am I"
OP: "welcome to Arena... this is my fighter char and you are dead now"
Forsaken: "thats unfair"
OP: "come out"
Forsaken: "you are abusing your powers"
OP: "I told you that i cant ban you... i never said i cant move you here and kill you afterwards... so come out"
Forsaken: "no"
OP: "come out"
Forsaken: "no"
OP: "come out"
Forsaken: "I want you to appoligize"
OP: "come out bigmouth - prove your words"
Forsaken: "no"
Forsaken departed from server (and never has been seen again)
Oh and what happened to our 3rd intruder?... well he spammed... and spammed and followed our here to Arena ***BEEP*** ***BEEP*** ***Bad Idea*** 
Chapter 2 - Top Gun
OP: "yawn.... im so bored... im a fighter and no trader.... yawn"
Lashan: "12 minutes till TopGun Event"
OP: ***pling*** "thats it - prize money im comming"
Lashan: "5 minutes till TopGun Event"
OP: "ohh shit... hurry hurry hurry... whuaaaa fucking rush hour in custo... no... no.. you wont dock at that gate now... no... *bang**bang**bang**booooom*... good thats better... ill pay the freight later... got to hurry got to hurry... puh finally made it"
1st round:
maniac killed by OP-R8R
Petrus killed by Haegar
Privy killed by OP-R8R
OP-R8R killed by Haegar
OP: "huh???? wtf?"
scanning... checking cargobay...checking systems... putting head out of the window to check the ship
OP: "these motherfuckers at the dock forgot to mount the armour... arghhh"
scanning... scanning... scanning...
OP: "shit... Im the only1 without armour"
Lashan: "you have 2mins to rest till next round"
OP: "may i go and buy some armour? oh damn i forgot... Im not allowed to leave the system during the event" *cries*
2nd round:
Privy down
Maniac down
Haegar down
Petrus NOT down
OP NOT down
*mine left* *mine right* *mine left* *mine right* *mine right* *hello torp* *mine left* *mine right*
*boomm*
OP: "was that me?" *looks left* *looks right* "no"
*mine left* *mine right* *mine left* *hello torp* *mine right*
*boom*
Lashan: Congratz OP
OP: "am i dead? wait im still in space... i won... hurray"
*looks back*
OP: "where is my cargobay and the rest of my ship? O_o"
Petrus: "gf"
OP: "gf - holy shit i turned arena into a new minefield.. that will take some time to be cleaned"
3rd round
OP vs Haegar
OP: "wait wait wait... please dont start"
Lashan: "ok"
OP: "im not allowed to leave the system but... hey petrus... give me your armour ^^"
Ok well the fight between Haegar and our hero started and ehmmm... yeah our hero still had 1000-2 (998) lives and did waste another one.... Haegar won (rofl)
... but "always look at bright side of life lala lalalallalaa"... Lashan had no prize money
Chapter 3 - The day after
OP: "grmmll - i need training"
Console: "pvp in arena"
Out hero wanted to know it... can he beat Haegar or is he just an old rusty fighter... the fight started.
A lovely voice: "shields are down"
OP: "what are you talking there? that can't be!!!! Turn the shields on ... turn the fucking shields on... cmon baby... ill give you a full repair... and a new hull if you give me those fucking shields"
A lovely voice: "shields back online"
OP: "puhhh bitch"
A lovely voice: "shields are down"
OP: "what?!?!? i didnt meant it this way - sorry cmon please - ill never say it again"
A lovely voice: "shields back online"
OP: "next time ill buy a ship with a male AI"
*bratta**bratta*bratta*
A lovely voice: "shields are down"
OP: "cmon not again"
A lovely voice: "shields back online"
OP: "Ehmm you lovely voice: why does Haegars shields reload much faster"
A lovely voice: "Because those idiots on the dock didn't mount the shield upgrade"
OP: "Arghhhh!!!!"
To make it short our here didnt waste another life at this time... for some unknown reason.
Chapter 4 - What have we learned?
NEVER TAKE A KNIFE IF YOU ARE GOING TO A GUNFIGHT
ehmmm no
NEVER GO INTO A FIGHT WITH A CRAPPY AI
ehmmm also not the right
NEVER GO INTO A FIGHT UNPREPARED
yep thats it
Chapter 5 - The new AI
OP: "ok lets see how it does work"
> /start engines
bad command or file
> /launch ship
bad command or file
> /get that ship outa here
bad command or file
> /help
bad command or file
> /fuck you
bad command or file... asshole
OP: "ARGHHHH"
ok m8s this story was full of sarcasm, irony and harsh words... and i know you like it
so show you that it is based on what happened the last 3 days i post some nice pics... some are very funny too
*lives in Portland, Oregon*
