Devout Believer vs God

Devout Believer: ''Our Father, Who art in heaven, Hallowed...''
God: ''What...?''
DB: ''Huh? Who's asking?''
God: ''Whaddaya mean ''who''? It's Yahweh. What do you want?''
DB: (Crosses himself) ''Oh! Lord!''
God: ''Hurry up, will ya?''
DB: ''Lord, you have blessed me with your presence!''
God: (Looks aside) ''What's wrong with these people? Can't they speak normally?''
DB: ''Oh, Lord, allow me to say a prayer in your honor!''
God: ''Alright...''
DB: ''Our Father, Who art in heaven...''
God: ''Ugh... again? I've been listening to the same crap for over 2000 years now. Got anything new in your playlist?''
DB: ''Then allow me to pray, as my heart wishes, my Lord.''
God: (yawns) ''Fine...''
DB: ''Lord, I, as you humble servant, ask for your blessing, so that I may carry your name to the people...''
God: ''Can you be more specific...?''
DB: ''M... money.''
God: ''And how about a lightning strike on your ass?''
DB: ''... understood.''
God: ''Alright, fine, what do you need the money for?''
DB: ''To build churches in your honor. To help orphans. For charity.''
God: ''Y'know, I kinda am a 'higher being' and all that spiel. I can see your thoughts like on a TV screen. Those ''orphans'' you mentioned are showing up with double-Ds.''
DB: (falls to his knees) ''Oh, Lord, please be merciful! The Devil is tempting me!''
God: (turns to the side) ''Hey, Lou! You hearing this?''
Lucifer: ''Duly noted. ''Dissed the Lord of Hell'' ''
DB: (shaking in fear) ''Lord, save me from evil!''
God: ''Fine, only if you do a task that pleases me. I'm not an asshole, after all.''
DB: (crosses himself and hits his head on the floor, bowing) '' ... Hallowed be thy name!''
God: (to himself) ''What an idiot''
DB: ''In your name, I shall cleanse the Holy Land of all Jews and blasphemers!''
God: (turns to the other side) ''Oh, for the love of... Moe, now he's dissing you!''
Moses: ''Bah! I don't even pay attention anymore. If I had a shekel for every time I have heard someone said that... '' (starts counting)
God: (turns to the DB) ''Screwing up twice in a single prayer. That's a first. But as the saying goes - who I haven't blessed with a brain...''
DB: (hopeful) ''Yes, my Lord, yes! In your infinite wisdom, you have not blessed me with a smart mind! I am just a dull creature made in your image!''
God: ''You do realize what you just said, right?''
DB: ''... oops.''
God: (slightly irritated) ''Nobody's called me an idiot before...'' (looks at Lucifer) ''... well, almost nobody.''
DB: ''Oh, Lord, please be merciful! You are merciful!''
God: ''Who, me?''
DB: ''So it says in the scriptures!''
God: ''Who knows what sort of babble's written in those.''
DB: ''But what about the Commandments?''
God: ''Doesn't apply to me. Fine. Get out of here. You're forgiven. But I gotta punish you a little bit. Y'know - for educational purposes.''
DB: (scared) ''... H-how?''
God: (in a thundering voice) ''From this moment forth, you shall no longer share a bed with a woman, but only with a man!''
DB: (terrified) ''... h-huh?''
God: ''You're gay now, you twit!''
DB: ''Oh, Lord!!!''
God: ''Alright. Reception's over. Gotta run to the gulf. Gonna play some ''war'' with Muhammad.

*shameless bump*