Patrick Stewart's monologue on Saturday Night Live

  • I have no illusions why I'm here tonight.
    It's because of "Star


    Trek: The Next Generation."
    (applause)
    Well, thank you very much, but I have a


    confession to make. When I was first given the role of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, I pretended


    to take it all in my stride; I was so cool in interviews;
    I claimed never to have seen


    the original classic Trek. But, it was all an act, because inside, I was so ecstatic... I


    was delirious... You see, not only am i probably the biggest Star Trek fan of all time, but


    well, as my friends can tell you, I am virtually an encyclopedia of Star Trek facts and


    trivia.


    Well now, for example, listen: Here's a fact I bet you don't know. On the


    original show, the name of the space ship was not the "Star Trek"! No, no, it was in fact,


    the "Enterprise". Now that's true.


    Now, all right, here's another one: Everyone


    knows that the part of Captain James M. Kirk was played by William Shiner. Then of course


    later he was to become very famous as the Six Million Dollar Man. But how many of you here


    know which actor played the chief medical officer, Dr. McCray, who was of course otherwise


    known as Boney? You give up, don't you? Well that was Forest D. Kelley.


    Well


    perhaps you knew that one, but can you name to me the ship's other medical officer... you


    see, because of course, there were two. You see, you're stumped. You are forgetting Dr.


    Spock. Now you remember, right? He was the pointy eared creature, you know? Half human, half


    volcano, and he was forever tormenting old Boney with his cold volcano logic, and uh...





    All right.. here's another bit of trivia. Did you know that another Star Trek


    character, Captain Sulu, was the first black woman ever on television? Anyway, being the


    Star Trek trivia maniac that I am, well you can imagine my feelings when I first learned


    that I won the role of Captain Picard. I felt a kinship, you know, with all those


    unforgettable legendary chartacters... Kirk, Boney, and especially Spock, and I even know...


    well I wrote a note to Leonard Fortnoy, but I guess he never received it. Anyway, Leonard,


    if you're watching, this is for you.


    Outer space: the last frontier. These are the


    trips of the Star Trek Enterprise. Its five year plan calls for us to explore strange new


    worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly fly where no man has gone in


    space.


    Live long (boy scout sign), and be happy.






    SWAT_OP-R8R
    Portal-Administrator

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    Twenty percent skill,
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    Five percent pleasure,
    Fifty percent pain,
    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!